


early morning bullshit

by vanthot



Category: The Goons Podcast - Fandom
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Early Mornings, Fluff, M/M, Short One Shot, Swearing, can be seen as platonic or romantic, doug is the best boy, not as soft as it can be but its the goons so, this is dumb and bad so bear with me please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26529742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanthot/pseuds/vanthot
Summary: blarg and mcnasty are just having a chat in the morning. thats it thats the fic. also doug makes a special appearance
Relationships: Blargmyshnoople/McNasty, Matt | BlargMyShnoople/Eric | McNasty
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	early morning bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> idk how ao3 works and this is my first fic here so pls bear w me if it looks all wonky and shit. also if ur one of the goons who happens to find this, uhh this one isnt too bad but also pls dont roast my ass too hard alright this is just for fun, thank u have a nice day

Matt appreciated mornings. It wasn't often he got up super early, but when he did, it was always nice and quiet. He sipped his coffee in peaceful bliss, sighing afterwards. 

  
He heard a slight mew, and when he looked, Doug had brought in one of his toys. Matt chuckled as Doug brought it over to him, dropping it at his feet before meowing softly at him again. Matt couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Doug, very cool," he responded, and the cat purred at him.

  
"Your cat brings you stuff?"

  
Matt jumped at the sudden voice, and looked up to see Eric standing there. He must've just gotten up, because his hair was an absolute mess and it seemed he could barely keep his eyes open just standing there. "Jesus Christ, you scared the shit outta me," Matt chuckled. 

  
Eric gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

  
"What are you doing up so early? Don't you normally get up at like, I dunno, 3pm?"

  
Eric closed his eyes, mimicking a roll of them. "I dunno, just...woke up early today, I guess."

  
Matt nodded. "Guess there's nothing wrong with that, this is early for me, too."

  
Eric hummed, and looked down at Doug. "Can I pick him up?"

  
Matt shrugged. "You can try. He might scratch the shit outta you, though."

  
Eric paused, contemplating whether or not getting a gash in his arm was worth being able to hold a cute cat. He decided yes, it was and he carefully lifted the cat up. Doug didn't fight, only meowing at him and Eric smiled, scratching his head. Matt smiled at the two. It was undeniably endearing.

  
Eric looked down again, this time at the toy Doug had brought Matt. "Does he normally give you stuff?"

  
"Kinda. Just when he's in the mood I guess, whether it's to show off or for me to play with him. He'll just find one of his toys and bring it."

  
Eric chuckled, setting Doug down on the counter. "You're lucky. The only thing Millie ever brings me is something dead she ends up killing."

  
Matt wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ew."

  
"Yeah. It's not often, but y'know. Still gross."

  
"If it happens here, she's gonna become an outside dog real quick."

  
"Uh, no she isn't."

  
"Uh, yes she is."

  
"If you even _think_ of putting her outside, I'm gonna make _you_ an outside person."

  
"This is my house!"

  
"Yeah, but you're tiny. I have more power than you."

  
"Yeah, cause you're a fuckin' giant. But also, I can easily go for your kneecaps and then who's got more power then, huh?"

  
Eric rolled his eyes slightly, "You're so mean to me."

  
"You threatened to kick me out of my house because I said I didn't want your dumb dog to bring me dead things."

  
"Hey, hey! I'm the only one allowed to call her dumb! How would you like it if I called Doug dumb?"

  
Matt raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled a little bit. "I'd probably agree with you. He's kinda dumb. Not the dumbest, but he has his moments where I think his brain gets swapped with a pile of leaves."

  
Eric huffed, and Matt smiled to himself since he knew he had won.


End file.
